THE TROUBLE WITH TWENTIES
by Ballyuk
Summary: Slight re-jigging of the last scene from 5x06 (Exposed) as Lois thanks Clark for his help after she'd been kidnapped by a human trafficker. His response leaves her fuming yet oddly proud.


Author's Note: I do not own the characters. Most of this story uses the actual scene from the Talon so due credit to the writers and director.

* * *

 **THE TROUBLE WITH TWENTIES.**

* * *

The living room of the Talon apartment was piled high with boxes, suitcases and backpacks. For whatever reason, Lois seemed to have more stuff than could fit at the entire Kent farm, and she'd chosen to bring it all here once she'd decided to move in. It had come as a surprise to Clark when she announced she was moving out to take up residence above the Talon. Maybe she'd taken pity on Clark for being relegated to sleeping on the couch for months on end. As large as it was, it had to be uncomfortable for somebody as tall as Clark. Maybe she felt he deserved the chance to have a hot shower for once. On reflection, pity or what he deserved didn't come into it. She was merely seizing an opportunity to have some personal space now that Chloe and Lana were sharing a dorm at Met U. It was also convenient to live above where she worked.

There was so much junk that Clark not only wondered if she even needed a use for it all, but also where exactly she'd stashed it all previously. Hockey masks, skateboards, roller skates, part of a drum kit, Whitesnake records, even a set of cheerleader pom-poms - all part of the curious conundrum that was Lois Lane, and bar the records, none of which he could recall having seen before. Not to mention more clothing than a department store, plus the surprisingly large collection of lacy unmentionables he'd stumbled upon. Did she actually wear all this stuff?

As Clark lugged yet another box up the stairs and into the apartment, Lois was in tow with two hefty backpacks. Surely the General had taught her to only pack the essentials needed for survival? Even if he had, Clark was pretty sure Lois would have let his words go in one ear and out the other as she looked to cause mischief somewhere else. Given that she'd be living above the coffee shop where she worked, the only thing absolutely essential to her survival was already downstairs, so why the need for all this?

Clark plopped the box onto the space on the kitchen counter, looking around the apartment wistfully. The dated décor on the walls and the vivid colour scheme of the paintwork totally fit in with the kitsch art deco look of the building, and it was quite a large space for one person to live in. Maybe not large enough for Lois' boxes of junk mind you. His eyes settled on the distinctive stove pipe open fireplace in the living room, reminiscing over many a cosy evening spent with the girl he loved. Were Lois and romantic evenings even compatible? How often would he be coming up here now that Lois was living here?

"You know this is weird. I spent so much time up here with Lana," he bemoaned.

Lois being Lois had no time for yet another one of Clark's pity parties, immediately sensing the melancholy aura that she felt radiated from him in waves if left unchecked. She had taken it upon herself to be the one to constantly bust Clark's chops and prevent his broodiness from becoming an epidemic that infected everyone around him. All it needed was something short, sharp and guaranteed to infuriate to snap him out of it. Leaning over his shoulder, she gave him her response.

"Clark, it's not like I'm taking her place. Just her sublet."

It worked. Clark turned to face her, eyes narrow and mouth open ready to aim some jabs in her direction. He was cut short by Chloe announcing her presence in a decidedly chipper tone as she held the latest edition of the Daily Planet in her hand.

"OK, before I start any of the real heavy lifting, you have to indulge me for just a moment in my first Daily Planet by-line."

She handed the paper over to them both but Clark snatched it and scanned the front page, earning himself a glare from Lois. As Clark read on, he couldn't see any article written by Chloe, and she felt the need to remind him that as a cub reporter, she didn't get to choose where to place her own articles.

"It's not exactly the Torch, Clark. Page 73," prompted Chloe.

Clark rolled his eyes and opened the paper to page 73 as Lois peered closer to get a better look. The two were now shoulder to shoulder. Chloe's excitement at getting her first by-line published was tempered by her impatience at how long Clark was taking to find it.

"At the bottom," Chloe prompted him further.

Clark and Lois both saw the headline - DIPLOMAT'S SON ARRESTED BY INTERPOL IN EUROPE - together with Chloe's name on the by-line. The story was about the human trafficking ring operating from within the Windgate club, which had seen one of the club's dancers brutally murdered, her salacious links to the current state senator exposed, and Lois get kidnapped after posing as a dancer.

Both were delighted for Chloe having made a breakthrough in her reporting career, but they ended up smiling cheerfully and congratulating Chloe in unison. Chloe smiled back in kind while suppressing the urge to laugh at how oddly in sync and couple-y her best friend and cousin often were, despite their protests to the contrary. Their smiles had died down now as each was annoyed that they'd had the same thought.

"Thanks," said Chloe. "Well you deserve half the credit. I mean, I'd still be playing point guard at the pet obituary hotline if it weren't for you two."

Clark had continued reading the article and noted how it was an anonymous tip that enabled Interpol to arrest the culprit. He'd managed to evade arrest in the United States on account of having diplomatic immunity, shocking Clark and leaving Lois feeling appalled that someone could get away scot-free despite clearly being guilty of such a heinous crime. He looked up at Chloe suspiciously having discerned that she'd used what he and Lois had told her to notify Interpol, wait for them to act and then write an article about it. Though the end result was the right one, Chloe's methods did pose questions about her ethics.

Chloe realised she'd been busted for taking more than a few ethical liberties with her article, and chose to change the subject back to moving Lois and her things in.

"About that heavy lifting…" she said, making her way back downstairs.

"Mmm hmm," replied Clark with a knowing nod.

Lois noted the implication that Chloe was playing the roles of source and reporter on this story, smiling at her cousin's gumption to get the story out there by doing whatever it took. There was a touch of admiration there even though Chloe had put Lois in an embarrassing position followed by a dangerous one. She'd never even been to a strip club before never mind pole danced, but there was a first time for everything. Clark was heading towards the door while still perusing the paper, so Lois scooted over quickly to close the door leaving it only slightly ajar. She had something she wanted to say to Clark in private.

"Clark," she called out to get his attention. When he looked back up from the paper and saw her standing in front of the door looking a little nervous, he stopped to listen. "Look, I'm not great at this, so just keep your mouth shut and listen up. Even though I was kicking butt on that helicopter, it was really nice to have back-up. You didn't have to come after me but you always do, so I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend."

There it was. A genuine statement of gratitude, with no teasing and no banter. She'd even called him by his name rather than 'Smallville' so he knew she was being serious. Clark smiled and nodded, and that allowed Lois to relax her shoulders. She rested one arm against the supporting pillar by the door, relieved to get that out of the way.

Just as Clark was about to say something to the effect of being glad that Lois was alright, her eyes narrowed. She maintained her smile of gratitude but something about the way she was now looking at him told him that there was a caveat coming. Softening her voice but making sure he understood in no uncertain terms that it was no idle threat, she let him have it.

"Oh, and uh…about the lapdance? If you decide to tell anybody about it, your Elmer Fudd night light will make a _very_ public appearance."

Clark gulped. She knew about the night light that was still plugged into the mains outlet in his bedroom - the one hidden behind the desk. He hadn't used that thing in years but had never got round to removing it. Since those days as a little kid, he no longer required the night light because he no longer had a fear of the dark. His desk was against that wall so it wasn't like the night light was clearly visible but it was evident that Lois had made herself truly at home in his bedroom if she knew of such tiny details. She wasn't averse to rummaging through his drawers or his closet which he knew because she'd dumped most of his things to one side to make room for all her stuff.

Though it was no longer the case, having Lois publicly declare that he was still afraid of the dark and used a cute little children's night light would be humiliating for him. Knowing Lois as he did, it was no idle threat so he was going to have to keep her Windgate adventure to himself. That didn't mean he couldn't still have a little fun at her expense in private though. Noting her leaning against the pillar, it brought to mind her appearance on stage.

"When I slipped you that twenty, I wasn't looking for an encore!" he teased, swivelling his eyes to her hand on the pillar and then back to her eyes again.

Lois' eyes widened and she retracted her hand as though she'd been scalded.

"I mean it, Smallville. Not a word," she retorted, adding a touch of menace to her voice.

Clark nodded once more. Lois watched him open the door to leave, confident that she'd got the message across and rattled him. However, there was something in his walk that was troubling her. She couldn't quite put a finger on it but she knew it was there. Was it a walk? A prance? A march? Wait, _marching_?

After four short left-right-lefts, Clark swivelled on his heel, bringing his left leg down as if he were partaking in a military drill. Chin up and raising his right hand to salute, he replied to her threat.

"Aye aye…sailor!"

With a huge grin and dancing eyes, he gave Lois a wink before turning back on his heel and continuing down the stairs, leaving her gobsmacked.

She had just been bested by Smallville, and that sort of thing was simply not on. He'd watched her pole dance, got a lapdance out of her and now he was mocking her! Gritting her teeth as her ire grew, she wished she'd had something in her hand to throw at him. Then just as suddenly, she found herself losing the will to be mad at him. A smile formed on her lips as she watched him disappear from view. She had just been bested by Smallville. His comebacks were getting better and she felt oddly proud about that. She had made Clark raise his game. There really _was_ a first time for everything.

* * *

 **FIN.**


End file.
